Why is it so difficult to trust in God when it comes to our love life?
Sure, for those who have been waiting on the Lord in their time of singleness, they look to Him for peace and comfort. I’m not talking about those solid-faith women of God. No, not the ones who acknowledge that He has ordained a time and place for His chosen man of God to meet them and love them just as God had planned it. You ladies are good.
I’m talking about the women who claim to “believe in the Lord in all things” and “walk in the ways” of the Lord…
That is until a really hot looking guy walks in front of them and leaves behind the fuzzy butterflies. Could he be the answer to your prayers? After all this time?
Though we see red flags, we turn our heads and assume that our Prince Charming is simply “a work in progress”.
But what really ends up happening is that as women, our relationship with God slowly shifts its focus onto the man who is now consuming our thoughts and attention.
We count our joy and our blessings to the new love in our life. We feel free. And so because we’re free, we feel alive.
That is until things begin to go south.
Then our so-called “angel sent from above” suddenly ghosts us and pretends that what we had been nothing to him…
… Yet he was everything to us. Everything.
So when we’re alone again, and utterly heartbroken, we lean on the belief that God did this. God failed us. He brought us a man and it didn’t work out. Again.
There must be something wrong with men. Or you. Or God.
Have you ever felt this way? I know I have. After every single breakup.
I urge you to please reconsider these thoughts.
Allow me to break down how this way of thinking will affect your love life forever, and what you can do instead to make it better.
Now granted, I’m sure this will NOT apply to every woman out there, but for the some who can relate, I’m sure you can relate.
I recently wrote a post on reasons why you should trust God with your love life, but I believe for some, as it was for myself, it can be quite difficult to trust God in the first place.
When I was single, I would read my Bible daily. I took pride in knowing that when my friends would visit they would see my Bible open.
In my season of singleness, I prayed endlessly for God to give me a man who would bring me joy. When all of a sudden a man presented himself, I naturally thought that he was my answered prayer.
Looking back at it, I gotta admit how foolish of me it was to praise and thank God for this new relationship, without even asking Him whether the love was real, to begin with.
After every breakup, I was sitting in a church the following Sunday. And every time I met someone new, my schedule magically got too full to pencil Jesus in anymore.
It was this constant back and forth thing I had going on with Jesus. Close when I was single. Distant when I was in a relationship.
Why is that?
Why was it so hard for me (and us) to stay true to our relationship with Jesus once a man came into the picture?
Of course part of it was that I was so insecure about myself, that I would wrap my faith in a good future around my relationships with men.
We begin to confuse the roles of our Savior and our new boyfriend.
I would place my trust, love, and everything I had in me into the relationship that was destined to go wrong because deep down, I knew these guys weren’t the ones for me. Yet I was willing to settle because of either a) I thought it wouldn’t get any better, or b) there was simply some tough stuff I had to work through in order to see the good stuff later on.
I never knew that I could balance the two relationships at the same time. It just honestly never occurred to me.
I believe in my heart that the reason why women find it so difficult to trust in God with their love life is that they do not know God well enough for that kind of trust.
Think about it: your closest friends may know things about you that no one else does. They may even know you better than you know yourself at times. So how did they get to that point of trust?
It took time. And it took a meaningful, committed relationship. One that involved interaction and openness from both ends.
When it comes to our relationship with God, keeping an open Bible in your living room isn’t enough.
Reading daily devotionals won’t do you any good if you aren’t allowing those devotions to help you become more devoted to Jesus Himself.
When you think of the “relationship” that you actually have with God, what does it even look like?
Are you able to speak to Him freely about your daily concerns?
Are you able to worship Him and all that He is in your life without some miracle prayer attached to it?
And the kicker that really got me was…
Are you able to continue to strengthen your relationship with God despite who comes and goes in your love life?
If you have any difficulty addressing these questions, then you may have a need to do some tweaking in your heart in order to make things right.
It’s very easy to put your trust and dependence on a man. It’s almost natural that we look for that kind of security in someone. Yet, since we’re all imperfect, that security, dependence, and trust should go to Jesus.
Because He’s the only one who can actually handle it.
So if you’re finding it difficult to trust God with your love life, think about your relationships with your ex-boyfriends. Did you ever glorify those relationships and/or idolize those boyfriends?
Was your focus on God and His plans lost due to the fear of having to wait a bit longer for God’s best to come?
Is the love you have for Jesus too small in comparison to the infatuated love you felt for a guy?
If so, then go back to your relationship with Jesus. Get to know Him. Allow your trust to grow in Him. Learn to depend on His truths. Understand that He IS LOVE.
Perhaps you need something that will help you recognize God’s love in your life. In every area of your life! Maybe taking a week to focus on God and His love for you that’s already sprinkled throughout your love life will help you learn to fully trust Him.
Check out my Love Trust Test that will cover exactly that: In what ways and exactly how much you are currently trusting God when it comes to your love life!
Once you are able to stand firm in your loving relationship with God you’ll know that He will never break up with you. He’s totally committed to loving you unconditionally until the end. Once you have a firm grasp on that, then it makes it easier to rely on His total package and trust Him through every stage of your love life.