When I was younger, I would wear my heart on my sleeve and chase down every man I liked.
Mind you, I didn’t do this because I felt desperate and needed a man. I did this because I thought that men actually wanted a go-getter who was feisty and knew what she wanted.
So, if a guy caught my eye, I would make a beeline straight to them. Then I’d work on my game (that is, flirting, joking, and doing whatever I could to impress them) and manipulate the situation so that at the end, he was the one asking me for my digits.
And this is exactly how my relationships would unfold too.
I would be controlling the situation the entire time, making all of the first moves, then spin it so that it looked like he was the mastermind behind our love connection.
And whenever there was a terrible breakup, if I wasn’t ready to end the relationship, naturally I would chase him down again.
I realize that after typing out that last sentence that this makes me sound like a total psycho, but it’s the honest truth.
This was how I was brought up to believe that you would find your Mr. Right and keep them to build that lasting, loving relationship.
It was how I saw it being done in all of my favorite rom-coms. And it was how I saw every living relationship go down with my friends and family. It was just how things were supposed to work out, right?
Now that I think about it, why is it that women are being told to pursue and chase the guy in the first place? Don’t we do enough already?
Why is it perfectly acceptable for the man to just sit around and “be a man” until they’re “ready” to commit while the girl has to go off and take matters in her own hands before it’s too late for us to live that “happily ever after” life?
This is me thinking about it now. After the fact that I learned how terribly WRONG this way of dating and thinking is.
When I had a crush on my now-husband, I was going to chase him like I did with all my previous relationships.
I was literally sizing up the challenge and planning out my next moves. That is… until my spiritual mother of mine stopped me. She wasn’t all up in my love-life business, telling me what to say and what to do. But she did give me one piece of solid advice.
She told me to wait to say or do anything and to let him pursue me.
That’s it. So I was just supposed to sit there and wait for him to make the move. Even though I was so ready to get things moving and I didn’t wanna waste my time in the process.
Longest summer of my life.
BUT, it worked out for the best. Better than best, I would say.
Because things happened during that wait that would’ve NEVER happened had I started chasing him.
And if you’re curious to find out what actually DID happen, and why you should totally slow your roll when it comes to chasing after your own man, then check out this week’s video!
Click below to enjoy!