If you have an impure past, does that mean that you’re wedding and marriage will be doomed?
In a way, this is how I used to think. That whatever damage I did in my past was gonna follow me into my future.
And at the time, I was actually ok with that. It was sort of a humbling, “I reap what I sow” kind of thought.
Back in the day, I actually used to think that if anything were to happen or was “off” in my marriage bed and/or on my wedding night, it was all my fault, because of what I did in my past.
Let’s me be clear: I was not pure back then.
As much as I would have liked to save myself for my husband, I didn’t. And while I only saw the importance of that choice once he actually came into my life, back then I didn’t see it.
And so, I did what any girl in their early 20’s living a worldly life would do. I got intimate with the guys I thought I loved. When they left, I was left with some pretty messy soul ties.
When Kyle came along, everything changed. I so desperately wanted to do things right. And please believe, if I could’ve kicked myself for not giving him my gift of purity first, I would have. But physically, I don’t think I can kick myself.
So… Kyle and I decided not to kiss on the lips until our wedding day. Tough stuff after living a life of well, kissing (among everything else). But we were faithful and committed to each other. We knew we could make it happen.
And so, if you really think about it, our wedding day was the day where he was finally able to get all of me. Not just my lips, but my body.
Truth be told, I felt some kind of way about that. Not because Kyle and I were going to get to have this amazing “Christmas morning” experience with each other. But because I almost felt like I was “used goods” now getting rewrapped and regifted for someone who really deserves the brand new model.
I felt ashamed and unworthy to be adorned as a “bride”– sitting there all decked out in white and made to be pure for my husband to receive me.
Is that too old-fashioned? Was I overthinking it? Was I trippin?
I’m sure some of you may be feeling this way too! That the thoughts of your impure past could possibly jeopardize what you should be feeling on the day of your wedding and moving into your marriage.
So, to answer this question, YES, this past CAN affect your wedding and marriage!
It can leave you feeling ashamed, guilty, and thinking about your past at the very same time that you are looking into the eyes of your soon-to-be husband.
Your past could leave you feeling like history will repeat itself and that you are never gonna be good enough for that pure life that God talks about.
Those thoughts will cast a dark cloud over your white wedding dress, shaming you with every step you take down the aisle. As your friends and family judge you for even wearing white in the first place.
You can give that impure past to God and let Him change your future.
While I may have entertained those thoughts leading up to my wedding, I can assure you that my wedding day carried no shame nor condemnation. In fact, my past was nowhere in sight. And my wedding night was definitely one to remember.
It was as if God had made me be a virgin all over again. And yes, in fact, He did! Because once you repent of those sins and give them to God, He makes you new! A new creation!
There are some things you gotta do before you get married to help you get to this point. And in this video, I go over just that.