You’re married and you wanna get in the mood for sex.
And yet, nothing works!
You’ve tried everything.
What is going on?
Speaking from firsthand experience, nothing is more frustrating than doing everything the right way and then losing your mojo in the bedroom.
My husband and I waiting until we were at the altar to share our very first kiss. When I tell you that we maintained a pure relationship prior to marriage, I am not kidding!
So you best believe that those nights as husband and wife, doing husband and wife things were definitely something that we were both looking forward to!
And it’s not to say that our honeymoon was a bust. It definitely was not. I was totally in the mood then.
But somewhere down the road… after the dust had settled and life kept going, something happened to me.
Perhaps you’re going through the same thing and you’re feeling some kind of way all of a sudden too.
It’s not your husband…
It’s not your bed…
It’s not your mood…
It might be your health.
Find out what I mean in this episode! Click below to enjoy!
This video is sort of a follow-up to my previous episode, 4 Tips to Get in the Mood for Sex, and I wanted to talk about this because it might not have anything to do with your attitude at all when it comes to getting in the mood for sex.
Am I blaming your husband for your lack of sexual desire? Absolutely NOT!
Your husband might be the MVP when it comes to this particular part of your marriage!
He might not take the trash out every week…but he definitely knows his way around your bedroom.
So what exactly could it be if you’re just not feeling it? The answer might surprise you! It might even give you a sense of relief knowing that you can fix it and possibly save your sex life (and marriage)!
Your lack of sexual desire may have nothing to do with your mind…it may have everything to do with your body.
I’m talking about your libido.
Libido is your sex drive. It is your physical ability to feel sexual pleasure. You can learn more about this topic here.
Think about the last time you felt sexually “turned on” by your husband. Now think about your first time no longer felt that desire…
What changed in your diet?
What changed in your prescriptions?
What changed in your environment?
How can we know for sure that your libido is affecting your sex drive and how can we take care of it?
The first thing that you want to do is do your research.
Read any fine print on any medication that you are taking to see if “decreased libido” is one of the side effects. You’ll be surprised to see that this is quite common with many birth controls!
Update: For me, this was a side effect in the birth control that I was taking. Because I had too much estrogen in my body from birth control, it was decreasing my libido, giving me no urge to feel pleasure whatsoever! Yep. That’s a birth control alright! Since then, I have chosen not to use any form of hormonal birth control and it has helped significantly.
Sidenote: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT give medical advice! I’m not telling you what happened to me. So you should talk to a professional to see what can happen for you!
If you recently changed your diet, then research the benefits and side effects that you’ll experience the foods you now eat.
Another really important reason why you may have a low libido is that of adrenal fatigue.
This is basically when your adrenal gland is overworked and goes on strike resulting in a lack of adrenaline production in the body. Check out this link to learn more.
And let’s face it, you need a good amount of adrenaline to feel that “sexual rush” if you will when it comes to getting it on with your hubby, right?
How do we know that this is something you may be dealing with?
Talk with your doctor, care provider, chiropractor, or someone you can trust who has a higher understanding of female hormones and can see whether you are physically out of balance in this category. Chances are, you may be.
How do you know if you are currently experiencing adrenal fatigue?
You have low energy.
You get highly emotional for no good reason.
It is very difficult for you to focus on.
Lastly, your sexual drive is nowhere where it needs to be, or where you’d like it to be.
Here are a few things that you can do if you believe that you are experiencing this and you want to get back in the mood for sex.
1. Lay off your sugar.
Seriously, it could be as simple as that. Try cutting foods from your diet (like bread and dairy) and stick with more natural sugars from fruits and vegetables. Here’s the diet that I’m on that has worked for me in this situation.
2. Focus on adding foods to your diet that are beneficial for healthy female hormone production.
such as broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower. By adding these veggies to your daily diet, your hormones will be brought up back to par so that you can be ready for the par-tay!
3. DEFINITELY talk to your significant other.
TRUST ME! They are going to want to fix the problem as much as you’re going to want to fix the problem.
Are you suffering from low libido?
Are you suffering from adrenal fatigue?
Whatever the situation is, do your research, talk to someone about it, and hopefully, you will find the answers necessary to help you get back to the balance that you need to be in to live a life you’ll absolutely love!
Update: After having two kids and going through probably a million life changes since I got married five years ago, I have learned a few more things when it comes to this topic.
- You are not alone!!! So. Many. Wives. are going through this! So many. It’s pretty shocking! Especially once you’ve been married and start growing your family. It almost always goes back to a physical factor that we’re unaware of (e.g. stress, anxiety, or the things I mentioned above.)
- It could also be something from your past. If this is the case, then you might find this post interesting: Naked and Unashamed- How to Feel Sexy in Your Marriage
- Give yourself some grace… and hope… and pray! Because after battling this for some time in my own life, I can proudly say that God helped me in this area and I no longer lose my desire for intimacy. Perhaps soon I’ll write a post about it, but for now, just know that you can overcome this! It’s not a forever sentence. You will find the passion and urge to express that passion in your marriage once again!