Having a great group of friends is fun. But what happens when your friends are married and start having kids?
Has panic set in as you fear that you’re slowly but surely losing your closest friends?
I used to feel this way. There was a clear distinction in the church between the “single” women and the “married” women. Back then, I used to think that those married women were so set apart and just in their own world.
Like, what was the big deal? Why are they always off to themselves, never joining the party?
It’s true. When your friends are married, you never really see much of them anymore. And the thought of why can be both devastating and confusing.
But then I got married. And I became “one of them”. I totally get it now. Why the wives are over “there”, and the single women are over “here”.
And you know what? We separate ourselves because we think we need to. But we don’t really have to. Single women have time whereas, wives do not have as much. Yet, both groups are in need of female friendships!
And wanna know something else? Not much really changes. Sure, we cannot wisk away to some spontaneous coffee outing whenever we want anymore or some completely random weekend getaway like we used to.
Of course, we would like to spend a little bit more time with the hubby now that we’re married. And oftentimes, that takes up the time that we would’ve spent with our other friends. Such is life.
And don’t even get me started on the point in life where kids come along. Cause that boat in swimming in an entirely different ocean!
Ladies, I get it. From both sides of the spectrum, I totally get it.
I think at the end of the day, as women, where it’s SO HARD to find great friends, the sudden lack of connection between friends whenever there’s a relationship change (either single to married, or married to mom), is scary.
It’s scary because we don’t wanna lose our friend. And because life can be so different after those season changes, it makes it really difficult to fight for that friendship.
Listen, I used to be going to bars every Thursday-Sunday, traveling to different cities every other weekend, and hanging out for movies, coffee, or whatever my little heart desired, whenever I wanted.
Once I got married, so much of that stopped. Why? Well, for one, I stopped drinking. And another reason is that I was really focused on establishing my new family with my husband.
These seasons have an effect on everyone. But most importantly, it has an effect on your friendship.
And while you can feel upset and offended that your friends are now at a different place in their life, there are other, more positive ways to look at this.
In this video, I share what to expect, how to feel, and what YOU can do when your friends are married, have kids and not about that “yolo” life anymore.
Click below to enjoy this video!