When you finally get engaged, there are approximately one million things that will seriously run through your head.
What is happening?
Look at that ring!
How much did he pay for that?
What is life right now??
Why did it take so long?
How did he plan this out?
Who helped him put all this together?
Were they talking about this the whole time behind my back?
Am I going to throw up?
Seriously though, what is life right now?
Is he for real?
How long have I been standing here thinking about all of this?
Am I even ready to get engaged?
I totally can’t wait to wear a wedding dress!
Can we afford this?
Is this for real my ring?
I cannot believe this is happening right now!
Why isn’t he saying anything?
Oh wait, he’s waiting for me to say something!
Oh snap! This is for sure really happening right now!
You get the idea. And
The moment I got engaged I couldn’t breathe. Literally. I was speechless and in shock all at the same time.
And with so many things to consider afterward, I pretty much felt like that long after the ring had been placed on my finger.
When you get engaged, you are all of a sudden flooded with emotions, excitements, and a boat-load of decisions to make. To avoid a mental overload, it’s best for you to do these following points.
And while yes, you can do a lot more to help you ease into this new season of your life, I think it’s safe that you at least do these things first. Because trust me when I say, they’ll help you get through everything else.
1. Enjoy and celebrate the moment.
When you get engaged, you enter into the new realm of everyone all up in your business. You say “harsh”. I say “facts”.
Now that he put a ring on it, everyone is gonna wanna know when the wedding is going to be. And where it’s going to be. And who’s gonna be in it. And when are you going to have kids. Get ready.
Chilllllllll. You just got engaged. And a lot of people are going to have a lot of questions. All because they are just as happy as you are. I get it.
But this is why this point is so very important. Because if you don’t take some time out to simply enjoy this magical moment, then it will be lost in the sea of frustration and annoyance forever.
So go on a date with you Fiancé and just enjoy each other, now as an engaged couple. See what that feels like. Flaunt your ring. And enjoy each other’s company.
You can address all of those questions later. And believe you me, they will be waiting. But it’s totally ok to let them wait. At least for a little while.
2. Tell your parents first.
If you have a great relationship with your parents, then they ought to be the first ones you announce the engagement
Chances are, they’ve known about it for some time now. And especially if your Fiancé went ahead and asked for your hand in marriage (which, btw, is totally still a thing!) So when you finally get engaged, they’ll be anxiously awaiting to hear how it went.
Your parents care for you probably more than anyone else in this world. Except for your guy. And now with this engagement in full swing, you are going to officially begin the process of leave and cleave. You are going to leave under your parent’s care and cleave to your future husband.
It’s a pretty big deal if you believe in the godly structure for marriage. Therefore, tell them before Facebook does.
Which leads me to my next point…
3. Don’t share the news on social media until the important people hear it from you personally.
Ugh… I wanted to change my relationship status on Facebook so bad! But Kyle made me wait. And looking back, I’m really glad he did.
There are people in your life who are rooting for your love. Who have supported your relationship since the very
Do you know how shady it would be if they hopped on Instagram and discovered that you got #engaged? It’ll sting.
And yeah, you can do what you want, but if you’re all caught up in the moment, at least do this solid for your closest family and friends and share the news with them first.
It’s kinda for the same reasons as to why it’s important to share with your parents first. They probably
Remember, they wanna celebrate with you. They’ve been waiting for this moment as long as you have. And what better way to break the news than with those who actually care.
4. Invest in a wedding planning kit.
Uh, what the what? Yes, girl. These things are total 👏🏼game 👏🏼changers!
What the heck is a wedding planning kit? Well, when you get engaged, you have to stay organized for numerous reasons.
You’ll need to keep track of all of your wedding contacts, and receipts, and vendor contracts. There will be important decisions that you’ll have to make that you didn’t even consider (e.g. under garments on
So… a wedding planner kit will basically house all of those things for you in one neat and tidy place. And, it should come with a timeline and checklist that you’ll get to use to help you stay on track up until the day of your wedding. Sometimes even weeks after.
Below is the one that Kyle and I used. I’m sure by now there are online resources (perhaps even an app) available for this. But there will still be paperwork that you’ll have to keep, so it’s best you just get yourself one of these as soon as possible.
5. Pray
Probably out of everything I just mentioned, this is by far the most important one.
And if your faith is strong, then this may seem like a no-brainer to you.
But the days will get long. The season from being single and dating to becoming a full-blown wife is big. And let’s not forget you know have to plan one of the biggest events of your life. Add the planning of a vacation in there too if you decide to go on a honeymoon.
The season can be total chaos. And as much as you would like to spend time with God, the moments might just slip through the cracks. It happens. You’re human.
Then there’s the part where you have to begin to merge your life with your future husband’s. As in, if you haven’t been praying with your boyfriend before, you’ll want to definitely start praying with your future husband. But how?
This is why prayer is crucial during an engagement season!
Once I got engaged, I knew it was gonna take a whole lotta God to give me the peace, clarity, and direction I needed to plan the wedding of my dreams (within budget) and to honor God every step of the way.
And let me tell you what.
Prayer Works.
We ended up having the wedding of our absolute dreams– drama -free AND under budget!
We got to go on our bucket-list dream honeymoon to Moorea, and that’s not all!
Our marriage has been solid from the jump. So much so, that I’ve written blogs, books, taught courses, gave talks, and coached women all over the world sharing our story, and how to trust God with their own love-life.
Major Key Alert! They All Chose to Trust God With Their Love Life!
Marriages have been saved, women have gotten engaged, and hearts have been restored, all because no matter what was going on in their season, they made a choice to go to God in simple prayer, that lead to major results.
And doing so can be as easy for you as saying a simple prayer regarding your engagement, every day throughout your season.
If you genuinely want to avoid those “Bridezilla” moments and wanna set your marriage up for success, then I’m asking you today to trust God and invite Him into your engagement experience.
Here’s how…
My latest book, “The Engaged Woman’s Prayer Book” is just what you need to speak life into your engagement season!
It will grow you, shape you, and mold you into the bride and wife you’ve always dreamed of becoming!
Gain peace of mind knowing that through this crazy season, you are going to God daily in prayer.
You’re setting up a strong, firm foundation for your marriage and with your future husband.
All of your wedding stress will melt away at just 5 minutes a day.
You’re getting closer to God and your Fiancé all throughout the process.
You’re incorporating God into every step of this season.
There are amazing tools and resources that you can use for yourself and for your wedding day.
And you’re not even breaking your wedding budget!
Aka… you should totally get this book!
So there you have it. When you get engaged, it’s going to be sheer joy! And it should be nothing less. So take these points to heart and make every minute of this wonderful season count!
When it comes to helping Christian women navigate love, relationships, the single life and marriage while honoring God, no one does it better than Selina Almodovar (se-LEE-nah AWL-muh-DOH-varr). A renowned Christian relationship author, coach, blogger and speaker, Selina shows women how to LOVE BY FAITH by successfully transforming their love life through trust in God. 