Whether we realize it or not, faith is ALWAYS a part of our love-life.
You breakup with a guy and what’s the first thing you do?
I mean, after the crazy-upset phase that usually involves eating ice cream, crying a lot, making a few breakup no-nos and wondering how this all went down for you.
After all that stuff… what usually happens?
We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and head into a “transformation phase”. Why? Because we have FAITH that things will get better.
We get a new hairdo and decide to go hard in the gym.
We look our best and head out with our best girlfriends.
If your Ex happens to see you, then he’ll realize his loss. If you run into someone new, then it could be their gain. Ultimately, during this relationship saga, we develop a shift of faith:
Where we once had faith that our relationship with so and so was going to last, now all of a sudden, shifts to faith in yourself and your future opportunities.
One thing is certain though: we were faithful that in the end, we were gonna get over the heartache and get our happily ever after one way or another.
But is that really how faith works when it comes to love and relationships?
In my previous relationships, I would place so much faith in God that the relationship I was in was “the one”. That it would end my struggle of feeling alone and rejected. That it would give me the happy marriage, home, and family that I had always dreamed of.
But when those relationships failed, it sort of in a way made me feel like my faith in God for this happy ending failed. In fact, it made me feel like God was just up there laughing at me and this area of my life.
I know, I know, who am I to feel angry at God?
But that’s how I felt! And that mindset never ended well for me.
As I got older and finally discovered how to fully trust God with my love and relationships. I realized that I had this faith thing all wrong.
God’s love was the exact type of love that I was searching for. Only I was searching for it in a man instead who could someday become my husband and “make me happy forever“.
Once I was able to get a clear understanding of where the love was in my life, I began to learn and understand what love was really all about.
God’s love holds no records of wrongs. Since His love is unconditional, I never had to work up to it or keep score of what I did/did not do to deserve it.
God’s love was solely centered around me. Because of that, He was just waiting to spoil me and treat me like the woman I so desperately wanted to be treated as.
Once I understood this, it kinda hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was placing my faith on the wrong target the entire time. Because of this, I was constantly missing the mark.
So, rather than to place my faith in the guys who hurt me (hoping and praying that they would one day change and beg for me to come back)…
… Or in my new “post-breakup transformation” (though I should’ve been taking care of myself the entire time)…
… Or on the next guy, who would make me “forget about my Ex” (even though this guy is someone I haven’t even met yet!)…
I learned to place my faith on the only thing that was consistent in my life since the beginning… and that was in God’s love.
Once I decided to put my faith in God, instead of everybody and everything else, I began to feel less pressure to make things right. Instead, I felt an insane amount of peace because I then knew that God was going to take care of me and that Mr. Right would come.
On God’s terms… which was totally OK for me.
Because my faith was now in God, I no longer had to take matters into my own hands and force guys to become my Mr. Right. Or try to force my Mr. Wrong to change so that I could settle and be happy.
No, once I was secure in God, He pretty much took care of all of that for me. In essence, it left me with an insane amount of time to discover more of what ultimately made me happy as the woman I was becoming. From that, I was able to feel fulfilled my relationships!
And let me tell you: those were some of the best seasons of my life! Especially because the fear, worry, and doubt were completely gone! It’s crazy to even think about now how I no longer felt the urge to overthink, “what if I missed my chance at being happy with a man?” or “what if I already met him and I let him get away?”
I was able to enjoy life, fall in love with myself, and God handled the rest.
Now when my Mr. Right did come along, I found it difficult to continue to trust God with my love-life. Seriously. I wanted to shift my faith to this new guy sooo bad because I really felt like he was the One. And he was… We married after two years of staying pure.
But even to this day, years later, I do not place my faith more in my husband than in God.
Because I know that while my husband is here with me until death does us part, my God is with me forever. And God ultimately has control over my love-life, even now. Especially now.
So, I leave you with this: Remember who you place your faith in. While some can come close to your joy and happiness, there is none who can maintain it the way that God can.
While your love-life may seem rocky, shaky, or full of roses and rainbows, I urge you, do NOT place your complete and total faith on the guy you’re with, you dream to be with, or the guy you wish you still had. They will not love you anywhere near as much as God can (and does). They cannot meet all of your expectations, no matter how perfect they are for you.
Place your faith in the unshakable Rock.
He has never left and He will always love you.
His love for you is relentless.
He is the love that you’ve been searching for.
His love is immeasurable and cannot be contained.
He is the best wingman in town!
Christ will gift you with a man who is best suited for you.
And until you’re ready for that Mr. Right, He’ll continue to take care of you. Believe that!