It’s 2017… could online dating be the newest way to find, meet, and eventually marry your Christian guy?
I talk to a LOT of women about their love-lives. And to be honest, there’s a lot of mixed views when it comes to online dating. Don’t get me wrong here. Not all of the stories are purely sexual and all about finding a pretty face for a hookup.
I know plenty of women who actually gave online dating a shot and they found their husbands.
I also know many of these same women are God-fearing and continue to honor God in their relationships to this very day.
But Tinder is something different, right? I mean, you “swipe to the right” if you think the guy is cute for heaven’s sake! It can’t get any more shallow than that… right??
Alas, I even know couples who have found love from a simple step of faith and an app called Tinder.
While I actually met my husband in church (which is a dying statistic, btw) I cannot say that I ever got the chance to experience Tinder on my own. I never had to.
But as I mentioned before, I’ve spoken to a LOT of women in my day when it comes to love and relationships. And from what I can gather, they aren’t finding their ideal Christian guy there.
Why is that? Why wouldn’t the Christian guys be on something that could potentially bring them closer to finding their Mrs. Right? I mean, after all, the women are there… why not the men?
I’m willing to bet you that there are a few actual reasons why this may be the case. And if you’re truly serious about finding a Christian guy to become your Mr. Right, then perhaps you can consider these reasons for yourself as well.
Before I get into it, let me just say that God can work anywhere, anytime, on any platform. And as long as you are keeping Him in the CENTER of your love-life, then He can bring you to your future husband by any means. So please don’t take the online dating world (especially an app like Tinder) to be something that’s evil or wrong for your Christian values.
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If you are trusting God with your love-life, and you feel a peace about moving forward in the online dating world, then who am I (or anyone else) to tell you not to?
Ok, now back to these reasons. Here’s why I believe you aren’t gonna find your Christian guy on Tinder.
They are completely focused on finding a wife, not a hookup.
Some people are strictly on this app to flirt, hookup, and have some fun with someone they are physically attracted to. To others, they are all about their checklists of what a guy/girl must have physically before even attempting to date them (you know, long, brown hair, muscles, curves, etc.)
But for a Christian guy who is serious about their next relationship, they are looking for more. They aren’t in this dating game simply to have fun. They’re looking to get married and settle down.
And for an app like Tinder, it may be a total turn off because you can’t even get that far until you like what you see from a picture. To some, that’s not enough.
Believe it or not, there are actually some good guys out there. Some of those good guys are Christian and are looking for someone who also portrays those same Christian values. They wanna talk to them before they determine whether it’s worth taking the next step. Guys want to create friendships to see if they are fun to hang out with.
The whole blind date thing could leave too much to chance– and ain’t nobody got time for that.
They are avoiding any temptation to sin.
Some of those pics are pretty “out there”, you know what I mean? And for a Christian guy, who is genuinely not trying to lust after women, this might be a lot to take in.
While they don’t have to “like” what they see, the common fact that they’re gonna see something at some point that could lead them to lust after a woman could be something they wanna avoid altogether.
For all we know, your Christian guy may have had a problem with sex, pornography, or lusting after women in the past. Now that he’s a new creation in Christ, he’s not about that life anymore. Therefore, he’s avoiding it at all costs.
It has nothing to do with you… it has everything to do with them.
They are intentional daters.
For a Christian guy, dating “just for fun” is draining. Having to get to know someone new, pay for dates, and try to figure out if the girl they’re seeing has the potential to become more can take a lot of work.
Tinder is almost like speed-dating, in the sense where you meet a lot of people, etc. Then you meet and see if you can get to know them enough to pass them into the second round. When you think about it, it seems exhausting. It’s a lot of work for just one person, let alone a group of matches that you might be interested in.
I know a friend who treated it just like that. She cleared her schedule for an entire week and set up a number of dates with different guys who were matched according to her Tinder swipes.
For a Christian guy, he’s gonna be a bit more intentional. He has a purpose for dating and he knows exactly what’s he’s looking for. He’s not here to play games. And he’s definitely not going to treat his date life like an interview process.
He’s going to walk in tune with God’s discernment. He’s going to pray for peace to pursue someone he’s been eyeing for some time and God will direct his path. He’s going to go to other Christian guys for counsel in when and how to approach someone he likes. His motives are going to be very, very direct. Almost too direct for what Tinder can even offer.
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While this can be said for many Christian guys out there who are actually serious about dating and finding a deeper connection with someone special, not all Christian guys are “good guys”.
Some will use their faith to get closer to you, however, won’t abide by the dating standards that would portray him as a man walking the talk.
While you actually may find some good Christian guys on Tinder, be very mindful of their intentions and their character.
See if it matches what they’re telling you about their Christian walk. And if you happen to feel the peace of God to continue moving forward, then consider it a true match!
Another very important thing you can do to help you determine if your Christian guy is legit is that you pray about it. About him, the relationship, the way you two came together, and everything in between.
You’ll want to pray to see if the love is real and if who you’re dating is the right guy for you. Need a hand in those particular prayers?
Check out my latest book, “The Single Woman’s Prayer Book”! This book contains 30 prayers that will help you in this single season, as well as, discern if it’s best for you to move forward in a relationship! These prayers are personal and will empower you to create your own on these specific subjects!
Have you ever tried Tinder? Did you meet Christian guys there? Share your experience in the comments below!