There are many reasons why women can’t find Mr. Right. But based on my very personal experiences, I like to believe that there’s really only one.
One of the biggest upsets I ever experienced in my dating years came from a man who just wasn’t that into me.
You remember that book (or movie), right? Where guys and girls hook up only to be rapidly disappointed because they discovered that just weren’t interested in the other person as much?
Yeah… that. That sucks. Have you ever been through it before?
Well, I have! And it sucks.
The kicker is that I wasn’t even really into HIM! I definitely liked him a lot (enough to put up with him!) but I wasn’t quite 100% sure that he was my Mr. Right. I still needed time to think it through. And he wasn’t giving it to me. So that’s what upset me the most.
This guy was a player. I knew this going in. But it was during my breakup phase with my long-term Ex, and I didn’t really care about getting into anything too serious. I just wanted something to take my mind off of the REAL problem.
I really, sincerely thought that based on what I had heard about all the other girls before me, that I would be different. And that he would see that.
Well, as it turns out, he did… for a while.
But in a classic rebound move, I started to push myself away because I was afraid of getting into something too deep, too quick.
And then… just like that, he was over it. He was over me.
And to make it worse. He would show up to the same functions with another girl!
I totally thought that I was better than that. And I definitely thought that I wasn’t so into that guy.
But something about that rejection… that dismissal of me and arrival of her…
That really bugged me for a long time. And it most certainly added to the heat I already had about never finding the right guy.
Today I wanna share with you what I think is the reason why great, amazing women can’t find Mr. Right.
After YEARS of studying love and relationships from a biblical standpoint…
It’s NOT because he isn’t out there. He totally is…
It’s NOT because you’re not in the “right season” yet. Because God’s timing is not your timing so he’ll drop your Mr. Right right onto your lap whether you’re ready for him or not!
I honestly believe it’s this:
Really good women do not wholeheartedly believe that they are really good women worthy of a godly relationship with Mr. Right.
There, I said it.
We’re stuck in this “what’s wrong with me?” mentality, constantly going back to our checklists of all the things we think we need to do in order to secure a husband-worthy man and it’s killing us from the inside out.
It causes us to play the comparison game with other women.
It causes us to aim lower than our expectations of what love and relationships should look and feel like… and we end up putting up with players and guys who aren’t so into us.
And it causes us to doubt ourselves when a good guy actually shows interest in us because we haven’t met our own expectations of what we should be like in order to get serious with someone else.
I could sit here and tell you about how horrible my love-life was all day long.
I could share with you about my wounds as I struggled with depression, excessive drinking, smoking, watching pornography, committing adultery, insomnia, weight gain, weight loss, low self-esteem, insecurity, being promiscuous, pushing everyone who cared farther away, feeling lost, living the prodigal life, completely turning my back on God and everything in between.
But those wounds are now scars. They no longer hurt me. Though they remain there in my past, they do not define nor project my future!!
(Sidenote: I cannot take credit for that last statement! I actually borrowed it from Pastor Steven Furtick, of Elevation Church, when he preached this sermon.)
I want to encourage you today. Because you might be reading this and feeling your lows and believing that they are the reason that you aren’t good enough. You might be sitting there thinking to yourself that you simply can’t find Mr. Right.
Listen… he is out there… but you gotta be willing to prepare for him. And it starts with the love and trust that you have for God and for yourself.
Not sure if you really trust God with your love life? Then why not take my free test today to find out! Click below to download your test!
Once you decide to love God you also begin to love yourself as He loves you. And from there, you begin to lose those checklists and you start living a life of freedom! A life that makes you happy–and love will most certainly come out of that!
Now learning to trust and love God will be one of the toughest relationships you’ll ever be in. But I promise you that if you stick with it, it will also become one of your most rewarding relationships.
You might be thinking that you’ve done too much in your past. And you’re tired of trying to keep on keeping on only to feel the sting of disappointment because you’re attracting the same guys you’re trying so hard to walk away from.
It’s hard, I know. I’ve been there before. I know it all too well.
But there is hope!
And if you’re willing to hold onto that hope, then I’m here to stand by you in faith, and together, we can pull you through to see the silver lining in your love-life!
To declare that God is STILL working for you and not against you!
That you are NOT broken or need fixing!
To know that LOVE IS REAL and that it DOES EXIST and YOU CAN HAVE IT TOO!!!
But you gotta get past your inner doubts…
Because they are what’s holding you back. You are your biggest wall.