I never fully realized that my breakups had a major connection to my personal relationship with God.
Turns out, that it wasn’t until I fully trusted God with my love-life that I finally found a man who was worth marrying.
And the reason behind this was because God taught me how to love. The very essence of love was what God is– so it would make sense that He would know a thing or two about how to get past those terrible breakups and actually find my way towards a life of happiness.
In this post, featured by Imperishable Beauty, I share how my breakups became breakthroughs that lead me to genuine true love. True love in God, with myself, and ultimately with my husband.
I remember going through my first major breakup. We had been together for four, almost five years. I thought it was serious. I thought that was it… that he was the one for me and that we would live out the rest of our lives together. Even though our arguments were brutal and full of hurt. Even when he would leave me to wonder where he was for hours or days at a time without any explanation. Even after feeling rejected from receiving his love, his kindness, and his devotion towards me.
I thought that because of our history, and how hard it was for us to create it, that my life would somehow get better over time simply because we stood the test of time. But we broke up. He actually broke up with me. It was easier for him to let me go than to hide his secret lifestyle. And that’s when I began to fall apart. Too stubborn to realize how my pain was really affecting my life, I carried on. In my mind, I was persevering. I found new boys to be interested in. I discovered how fun being single could be. I retaliated with finding someone who was an “upgrade” to the one I used to love.
But he wasn’t. Turns out we were both two broken souls too afraid to deal with our emotional baggage of our previous relationships. Instead of allowing ourselves to stay single long enough to process through our pain, we decided to become distracted and focus on each other instead. That relationship had lead to more rejection, more confusion, and even more heartache. You know what they say, “Hurt people hurt people”. And man, did those two years hurt.