As happy as you may wanna be, sometimes it’s better to break off your engagement than to go through the entire wedding and end in a divorce.
But that’s always easy for some Brides to see when they’re all caught up in the moment.
Sure, your friends and family can see it plain as day that this guy is NOT the guy for you. But who are they to tell you otherwise.
Oh wait, maybe they tried telling you and it still didn’t work. 🧐
Listen, I get it. You’re in love with this man. So in love that you literally wanna spend the rest of your life with him!
And perhaps you both have been together for so long that you don’t even realize there may be some red flags waving around you.
Or, (which is even worse, in my opinion) you saw the red flags early on, chose to ignore them, and now have decided that those red flags are worth hanging around because everything else “is fine”.
Hmmmm… if you say so?
I’m not one to judge, but I am a definitely all about prevention verses reaction, so if you want my advice, for whatever it’s worth, you may wanna look into these things before you say “I Do”.
Here are five reasons you should totally break off your engagement.
1. They are pulling you away from God.
Ok, I was gonna save this point for last because it’s such a heavy hitter but I then I thought to myself, “Nope. Nuh-uh. Gotta make it first.”
And here’s why.
You’re here because you’re looking to trust God at every stage of your love-life. I’m here because I’m hoping that I can encourage you to trust God at every stage of your love-life.
So if we’re here at this post, it’s probably because we both have the same intentions of growing closer to God, right?
Why on earth would you think that someone, who is “God-send”, and is pulling you away from God, is the one for you?
And more importantly, why would you even allow yourself to settle for that? Because if you are, then you have a problem with truly trusting in God and His plan for your love-life.
If you think that agreeing to marry someone who draws you away from going to church, praying, sharing your faith, or just maintaining your personal relationship to Christ is the right move, then sister, enter at your own risk.
There’s this musical called, “Fiddler on the Roof” where this kind, old Jewish father has to give his daughters away in marriage. So before he gives them the blessing to marry, he talks with God. And in his prayer talk, he looks at all the pros and cons, each time using the phrase, “On the other hand.”
In comes a guy who wants to marry one of his daughters. He is not of Jewish descent. And this disturbs the dad because it means that his daughter would have to leave her Jewish faith. He takes it to God and during his talk, he screams, “There is no other hand!” He then dismisses the daughter and everyone cries. It was a sad moment.
My point is this: your faith has to be a zero-tolerance rule. Either someone is gonna accept that or not. No gray matter to this. If you choose to compromise this, your faith will be affected.
Matter fact, check out my latest book, “The Engaged Woman’s Prayer Book“. It full of prayers that will help you decipher if this is the best move for you to make. And if you feel some kind of way about it, well… then you know what you gotta do, right?
Check out my book below!
2. You have no peace.
This also goes back to the faith thing. If you are feeling like there is this unsettling feeling in the pit of your gut, then that is your own mind, body, and spirit telling you that you need to break off this engagement.
And for whatever reason, your instincts know best. So trust them.
If your Fiancé tries to brush those feelings off and tries to flip the script by calling you “crazy”, or “it’s nothing”, then what the what? If YOU don’t feel good about something, then you need to TRUST YOURSELF.
Because if you can’t trust yourself then how will you ever have your best interest at heart?
So if you haven’t been trusting yourself all this time, on account of you’re scared of what that would look like, then believe you me, the outcome of betting on yourself will far exceed the outcome of depending on someone else for
Break off your engagement now before it’s too late.
3. He has no interest or desire to help plan your wedding.
Sure, you see this kind of thing happening in movies and tv shows all the time.
Guys don’t care. And why should they? It’s all a bunch of flowers and dresses, and all things girly, right?
Umm no, actually, it’s not.
It’s basically supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Not just the bride. But the bride and groom. Happiest day for both.
Why is it so darn happy? Because you are making a choice to marry the person you love. You’re surrounding yourself with all of your closest people who love and support this decision. Life as you know will change forever because of this day.
So if he can’t even get excited for that… then what makes you think he’ll get excited for your marriage? Your kids? Your future?
If you’re constantly having to drag him along for the ride, then you will never truly be satisfied.
Sidenote: If he’s actually trying to get involved with the wedding planning and you’re the one who’s pushing him away, then you need to check your own heart. Just sayin.
4. Someone you deeply care for and trust sees a red flag that you don’t.
Ok, so maybe they mentioned this before, or maybe they didn’t. But your sister/
Sometimes these people know you better than yourself.
And something they definitely see that you might be completely blind to is how you’ve been acting ever since you started dating your guy. Something else they notice is how you’ve been acting now that you’re engaged.
Now, you can get all defensive if you want, but I’m gonna urge you to just stop. Because these people are in your corner. They wanna see you get married. They’re not here trying to sabotage your love-life. Your happiness is actually something they want to see you have forever.
So if they got something to say, you better listen. And trust in their judgement. Even bigger: trust in their love for you.
And if you wanna take it up a notch, how about straight-up asking them if they’ve seen anything suspicious that would cause them to feel uneasy about the two of you getting married.
If your loved ones tell you to break off your engagement, there’s probably a good reason as to why, and you should trust that.
5. You cannot make amends with someone they deeply care about (or vice versa).
Your fiancé has a childhood friend who’s been around since day one. And you cannot stand them. No matter what you do to try to make amends, it just doesn’t work out.
You think that’s gonna magically go away simply because you said, “I do”?
Or, how about your future husband has a mother
Do you think she’s going to go away? Yeah right.
If you choose to keep your engagement going, despite the tense relationships that seem to surround your relationship with your guy, then expect to have a lifelong battle with drama.
And this shouldn’t have to be a them verses you sort of thing. By default, they were here first. And also by default, they’ll most likely be there long after you leave.
If you love your guy, I get it. But you have to think about yourself in this situation. What are you honestly willing to put up with? And does it even have to be this way? Can there be some sort of a reconciliation before the wedding?
If not, then consider your future. Is it worth it? Be honest. Check your gut. Pray about it (I have a book that can help!) And if you think that after all of this, you STILL wanna move forward, then go forth and God bless.