Before you get married, there are some things you need to take care of.
The wedding plans. Where you both will live once you’re married. Where to go on your honeymoon. Etc.
However, before you even get into all of that, I think there are a few more very critical discussions you need to have first.
Usually, the bulk of the topics that I’ll be bringing up are discussed in premarital counseling. But not every couple decided that counseling before marriage is the route for them. Regardless of if you decide to take that step or not, these questions should still be brought up and talked about before you are deep into the marriage and wedding planning stages.
The reason why is because what comes out of these questions could determine whether or not you are even fit to get married in the first place! And I know that sounds harsh, but these questions are covering some very real and serious topics that aren’t your everyday chit-chat.
When I was getting ready to marry Kyle, we were approached with these questions through pre-marital counseling. At first, I thought I would just be turning into a glorified girlfriend with a ring. Sister, do not be fooled. Dating and marriage are two totally different things!! And the expectations between a girlfriend and a wife are completely different. So, yes, it took us a healthy amount of time to go over each of these questions before moving forward.
However, I will say this: addressing these questions helped up create a very solid foundation to stand on once we got to the altar to say “I do”! And before you get married, I’m going to encourage you to do the same thing for the same reasons.
In this video, before you get married, “till death do you part”, be sure that you took the time to address these FIVE QUESTIONS!!
Click below to enjoy this video!
No matter what, before you say I do, you need to have these questions answered, address, figured out, and handled.
So, you guys are getting ready to get married and everything is going beautifully! You’re getting all your stuff done. You checking everything on your list you hopefully but my book “TheEngaged Woman’s Prayer Book” cuz yeah, I said it, I wrote the book on prayers. You better cop it.
Question number ONE: do you want kids in the future??
I don’t understand how so many people choose to get married and never had this conversation! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…. Anyways 😒…
A lot of people don’t have this conversation. One of the spouses chooses that they don’t want to have children. It leads to a whole lot of tension. It leads to a whole lot of, you know, “this person is not me, we’re growing apart”. Then you guys end up separated.
Why don’t you just have the conversation now it will probably end up ruling out whether this person is the one to marry in the first place or not.
Sidenote: If you’re sitting there kind of scratching your head, like, “uhhhhh how do I talk to him about this stuff? 🤔” Then, I got the perfect resource for you! It’s a free resource you can download today and it is called, “Speak, Listen, and Love”. This is how to have productive conversations with your spouse. I know I know you guys aren’t married yet, but it is a great resource to have to start getting into the habit of creating productive conversations around important topics such as the ones we just talked about in this video.
Question number TWO: What is your fiancé expecting a wife to do??
and then vice versa,
Question number THREE: What are you expecting in a husband?
Are you expecting him to care for you? Provide for you? Is he the one that’s going to work? Is he the one that’s going to take the trash out? Are you expecting him to rub your feet every single week? I understand what you want out of me and you now understand I want out of you. Now that we’re okay with that. We’re okay to move forward.”
A lot of people go into this marriage thing and they have expectations and they thought that their spouse knew what those expectations were. They are sorely disappointed and it leads to a lot of tension. It leads to a lot of arguments because they thought they were marrying somebody who was going to become something that they never signed up for!
Question number FOUR: How will God and your faith play into your marriage and in your future??
Two Christians can have two very different perspectives of what it’s like to live like Christ. Some people need it. It’s there. Christ is at the center of their marriage. Other Christians are like, “I don’t have to go to church every Sunday.” Or, “I don’t need to do that. When we have kids they’ll just be like me or just figure this out. It’s their choice.”
The LAST Question. I honestly think you should have before you get married is, What are your financial goals?
If you want to marry someone you don’t know if they got bad credit then……………..🤦🏻♀️
It is no secret that finances and money are one of the number one reasons why people get divorced. If you guys are truly serious, and you guys truly want to grow old together & live together for a very long time, then have the money talk now. See where you’re at. Or, where you want to be. See what you guys would agree to tackle together through your money goals, your money problems, your current situation.
Those are my top five questions that I think that you guys should be addressed before you get married.