Let’s be honest here; a lot of guys are pretending to be someone they’re not and that makes it really difficult to discern “marriage potential” from an absolute imposter.
And I hear a lot of women say this (I kinda agree) but man, they are so thankful that they don’t have to date in today’s world!
It’s crazy out here for a single woman! There is so much pressure to find the right guy and “to settle” before your age, your
And there are so many overwhelming options of how and where to find a guy (from Tinder to church), it can all be pretty stressful.
So, I get that it’s wild for single women to find a good guy who meets all the criteria of “a keeper”, but here’s the thing that I’m having trouble with.
There are a lot of girls out there who are simply settling for guys who are nowhere near worth it!
And many women do this for a number of reasons:
- They’re afraid that it’s “too late” and no one better will come around (due to their age, previous relationship, location, kids, etc.) and so they decide to get off the dating coster.
- Dating has become more than a hassle and so they choose to just stay put and take what they can get.
- Honestly, they feel like they’ve actually found the cream of the crop and do not even realize that they can do better. (Ouch!)
- They have no idea that the mediocre guy they’re with is only pretending to be the right guy.
Today I wanna help you out with one of these things. The top three points are all total mindset changes that one must do in order to overcome their lack of self-worth and embrace true happiness. There are several resources for that.
However, the last point is something we can work with.
Ladies, do not be fooled! Unfortunately, many of us are. To the point where you’ve been married to someone who is a complete stranger and now you feel stuck in a situation that you never meant to be a part of.
If this is you then I’m sorry. So sorry. Because someone whom you thought you could trust did a very selfish thing.
But before it gets to that, let’s see how you can take note of when a man pretends to be your Mr. Right.
Usually men can get away with it because we are so focused on all of the “good stuff”. It becomes easy to overlook the signs that he’s totally pretending because we don’t want to be the one to “judge”. I mean, who are we to judge anyways, right? We all got a past.
But in this case, and when it comes to your happiness, we are totally going to judge! Why? Because if you don’t raise your eyebrows
Then if that happens, you’ll also start to question whether love is real and exists in the first place! (Sidenote: It does.)
And that is my issue…
There are many women who have lost faith and trust in God because they believed in a lie that disguising themselves as love.
Well as long as I’m alive and breathing, I’m going to give you the scoop in anyway that I can! Because your heart matters. And God wants you to receive His very best for you.
So without further ado, here are five signs that you can be on the lookout
1. He always pressures you to move faster in the relationship.
I cannot express to you how many times I have told my clients this. It was one of their biggest fears and remains to be among women to date.
Let me make this plain and simple.
If he’s Mr. Right, He. Will. Wait. For. You.
Here’s the science behind it: When Mr. Right finally finds you, he knows, without a doubt, that you are the One. You don’t have to do a whole lot for him to get that. He’s got it. You’re it.
So if a guy knows that, then he’s already down for the ride. It doesn’t matter how long that ride is gonna take in order for you to become his bride, he’s already determined that he’s ready to ride.
Mr. Pretend guy is only concerned with his own selfish motives. So if he’s pressuring you to move ahead in the relationship, (e.g. having sex, moving in together, meeting parents, getting married, etc.) and you just aren’t ready for those steps yet, that’s a sign.
The guy who’s pretending will have his own time schedule when it comes to how and when things play out in his mind regarding your relationship.
Don’t believe me? Put him to the test. If you agreed from the very beginning that you were going to be pure and abstinent in your relationship, and now all of a sudden he’s pressing you to overstep your
2. He is always trying to please you.
Are you confused? Yeah, it can be confusing. But make no mistake. As much as we would like to be pleased, every single time, for every single reason, that’s just not realistic.
Mr. Right isn’t Mr. Perfect. And neither are you. So there are bound to be some disagreements among the two of you.
But a real man will not be afraid to hold you accountable when you need to be, and he won’t shy away from telling you when you’re wrong when you are.
Hear me now. That doesn’t mean that you have to have a relationship that full of conflicts and arguing. Not the case.
And that’s the key. A Mr. Right has your best interest at heart. He’ll want you to grow and continue to become your very best. And that will require some truth bombs every now and then.
If the guy you’re with never tries to correct you or hold you accountable for anything, then he just wants to keep things pleasant.
That’s not someone who’s gonna stick around when things get tough. Not sayin. Just sayin. He’s pretending.
3. He never has his own opinion.
Really? He’s not gonna tell that he would rather watch an action movie over the sappy love movie you just picked out?
Probably because he wants to please you all the time. Which goes back to point #2.
If your guy cannot have his own opinion, thoughts, and beliefs, then how are you expecting him to lead in your marriage, family, and future?
Again, he may have it, but he’s not willing to share it, and that’s when it becomes a problem.
I guarantee you that you will discover it sooner or later, and it might not be as pleasant as what you’ve been accustomed to. So beware.
This actually happened to me. I was dating a guy who simply went along with everything I did. No problems. Ever. I thought we were the perfect couple.
Until he decided to show his true colors. Then I realized that I had no idea who I was dating after living with this guy and being with him for over two years. Trust was broken. We grew apart. And to this day I don’t really know if I ever knew the real guy.
Kyle’s guy tip: Girls totally need to have their own opinion too! Like, for sure tell us where you want to eat and what you would like to do on dates! But a man also needs to have a say as well. It’s a balance. And if one person is making all of the decisions, there’s no balance.
4. He’s super spiritual only in public; never in private.
Ladies, this one is a kicker.
So you meet a guy and you are absolutely head over heels with him. Not because of his looks. Not even because of his charm. But purely because of his spirit!
And you are feeling this guy because he seems to be on fire for God! He goes to all of the prayer meetings. He’s involved in ministry. And the pastor thinks very highly of him. Sounds like a keeper, right?
Ok, so far so good. But. And a big but at that. Have you ever seen him do it when there wasn’t a crowd?
Think about it, ladies. You fell in love with a guy for his anointing. But is that truly a personal relationship with the Lord, or is it just pretending?
This can trip up a lot of women. I know that this can happen from hearing about it personally.
You meet him. Things go well. You think that you both are going to go far because you’re spiritually connected. But as soon as you’re behind closed doors, he’s a completely different guy.
PLEASE be careful of this!
Create a personal space where you and him can invite God into your relationship. See where his heart is when no one else is watching.
And please guard your heart in the process! You never know… you might only be attracted to God, and the guy you’re with will not only recognize that, but he’ll try to play on that just to get closer to you!
Pray and pray again. Always pray for doors to open, close, and bring you to a sense of discernment as to where God wants to lead you! Then listen to your heart! Steer clear of the feelings that do not bring you peace!
5. He covers up his red flags with excuses.
I cannot stress this one enough. You see the red flags. You actually see them. They don’t make you feel comfortable. You even question it. And what does he do? He tries to explain them.
We all have a past. We’ve all made mistakes. But if you fail to see someone correct those mistakes, then the chances of them correcting them now that you’re around are slim.
Such is not the case for everyone. But I’m pretty sure that if you see a red flag floating around in your relationship, there are more flags out there.
And a guy who’s pretending will say and do whatever it takes to reassure you that those red flags mean nothing.
Excuses are worthless. They lead to nothing. They are tools of destruction. Those who use them seldom succeed.
A red flag is just that. A red flag. It means, “Hark! Danger. Do not pass. Abort the mission.”
So if you find out that a man has a cheating past, or problems with money, or his lifestyle doesn’t line up with the husband material you are truly searching for, and he tries to cover it up with some shady reason as to why it happened/happening…
Matter fact, if you find a man who’s constantly trying to please you, never has his own opinion, “appears” to be right with God but constantly pressures you to get closer than you’re ok with…
Then you need to stop pretending he’s the one and look elsewhere.