Wifey, are you no longer in the mood for sex??
I know, I know, it sounds totally crazy, but there are a LOT of wives out there who are feeling this, am I right?
If you’re single and you’re reading this, then you probably think that this topic is a bit odd. You might be thinking to yourself,
“You guys are married, you can get it all the time! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to do it all the time!”
Sure, it’s easy to say that when you’re standing on the other side of the fence. Meanwhile, I know a bunch of you wives are out there thinking,
“He wants it all the time! I’m not a robot!”
First off, when it comes to marriage, sex is pretty important. For both parties.
Sex is an intimate act that strengthens the union of your marriage and can create great sums of security, acceptance, and love for one another. Without it, many marriages crumble towards divorce. It’s not just physically important for the man to release himself, but it’s also emotionally important for the woman to feel love at that level.
So if you’re not feeling it, how are you expected to “do the deed”?
Sure, you might want to…you may find your husband very attractive and are deeply in love with him. Yet, for whatever reason, you can’t get turned on if your life (and marriage) depended on it!
As frustrating as that may be for some of you ladies, it’s even harder to try to explain all of this to a horny husband.
So what should you do? How can you get your “mojo” back? How can you make sex fun and exciting again? Perhaps these 4 tips can help!
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Tip #1: Wear sexy underwear.
Who wants to walk around town wearing lace, strings, and busty, booty-enhancing undergarments? You do. Why? Because believe it not, wearing this makes you feel some kind of way, does it not?
There’s a sense of hotness, sexy, and naughtiness that “arises” in your subconscious whenever you choose to wear this stuff.
The key to this tip is that you want to leave your house in the morning marinating on the thought of getting frisky with your hubby later on.
Tip #2: Listen to some sexy music.
Whether you created a playlist, use a specific Pandora station (like this one), or put on your favorite CD of smooth jazz, “grown and sexy” R&B, or some sensual classic hits, these artists will leave you in the mood in no time.
I guarantee if you listen to these all day long, what are you gonna wanna do afterward? Uh, your husband. That’s right.
If you have kids and all you do is listen to kid songs, the Frozen soundtrack, and nursery rhymes all day long, then you are nowhere near mentally stimulated for some “sexual healing” from your husband!
Get in the zone with musicians such as Maxwell, Sade, Marvin Gaye, Sam Smith, or even Prince (the King of sexual inspiration!)
These artists already have the passion to spark flames in the bedroom written in their songs. All you have to do it simply borrow some of their passion and use it for the night ahead!
Tip #3: Give yourself a pep-talk in the powder room.
You know what’s funny? When you’re talking to your husband about something that needs to be done around the house and he somehow seems to forget it. Every time. The funny thing is that the moment to you talk to your hubby about getting some action, he’ll ALWAYS remember that conversation!
Sometimes you say things that will arouse your husband (which is a totally good thing!), but keep in mind, they will always hold you to it!
And as women, as we carry out our days, things happen: we get a headache, we get too tired, we become stressed, etc. Reading a book with a nice cup of tea sounds waaaay better at this point! However, your husband will remember what you said, so you know you gotta keep your word!
Mustering the enthusiasm to become intimate with your husband, even when you really don’t want to, can be intimidating…but don’t let that happen!
Understand this: You excited your husband earlier in the day and he is very attracted to you! Not you when you lose weight or get clear skin…he’s attracted to you right now! So embrace that.
Lack of sexual desire in the mind is one of the biggest gateways that can lead to separation between you and your husband. Overcome it by overcoming the doubts in your mind.
Best way to get back into the game is to give yourself a half-time pep-talk.
In sports, during halftime, the team and the coach always retreat to their locker rooms and encourage one another to play a better half. That’s what you need to do!
Give yourself some encouragement, motivation, and remind yourself that you love your husband. You love being intimate with him, and you’re going to enjoy this as much as he will.
These kinds of words are going to help you overcome whatever fear, doubt, and stress that you have bottled up inside that is keeping you from wanting to have fun in the bed. It’s also going to put your mind at ease to enjoy the evening.
Tip #4: Focus on the attraction, NOT the distraction.
How many of you can relate to this: Every time you’re in the middle of “getting busy”, all of a sudden doing the dishes, tomorrow’s morning traffic, or the risky thought of “did I leave the oven on” comes up??
Stop allowing your mind to wander off. Place yourself in your current environment and be present.
Listen to your husband. Listen to the music (if any). Set yourself to engaging in what you feel and focus on how it feels.
If you are losing focus completely, then let your husband know! Tell him what to say or what to do to bring you back to the moment. By becoming mentally aware of what you’re doing, your feelings will begin to open up, and you can fully express yourself to your husband and have a great night.
None of these tips working? Then it could be a physical thing… check out these tips on how to get your body in the mood for sex, instead.
Your Turn: What are some tips that helped you get in the mood for sex? Share them in the comments below!