Does your friend always forget that she has friends whenever she finds a new guy?
It’s pretty shady but it happens more often that you would expect.
There are some women (and men) out there who will get involved with someone and will drastically decrease their attention towards their friendships by 75%!
Should a romantic relationship have this much weight when it comes to ditching your friends?
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I used to that “boy-crazy” girl. Whenever I was in a relationship, I would drastically drop off the face of the earth. I stopped answering phone calls, texts, emails, and would bail out on every plan that I made with my friends. I completely isolated myself for the sake of my relationship.
It got to the point where my friends photoshopped my face onto a milk carton. It was rough.
They really put me on blast to say, “Hey, she totally ditched us. Where is she?! What’s going on??”
Because I personally when through this, I think I can help out those who are wondering why this would ever happen.
The reason why your friend decreases her attention towards everyone and places all of her attention on her beau is because she sees more value in this person than she does with all of her other friendships combined.
Yeah, that’s a pretty tough pill to swallow.
Your friend is placing love, happiness, joy, and security all in this romantic relationship. Because of that, she’s basically putting that “romantic love” above the love and support she would receive from friends and family.
Love has many different shades, if you will.
1) Motherly Love– the nurturing kind she would get from her family, mentors, and role models.
2) Agape Love– the kind she would receive from a greater God.
3) Romantic Love– the kind she thinks she found in this new guy.
4) Brotherly Love– the kind she gets from you.
Your friend may not receive all forms of love from one person.
For her to place all of her eggs into one basket, with the risk of that basket getting stolen, broken, or shattered, is not a very wise thing to do.
So what can you, the concerned, ditched friend, do in this situation?
You’re gonna want to continue to be her friend (This was probably not the answer you were hoping for.)
Be support that she needs, the love that she deserves and the acceptance that she’s going to look for when she realizes that she made a horrible mistake.
If you choose to remove yourself from the situation and ditch her circle of influence then she is going to have absolutely nobody to go to when something bad (or a breakup) happens. And because she’ll have no one to run to, she will begin to isolate herself.
Understand this: Your friend may have a dependency problem. If she does go through a breakup, and has no one to depend on, it may affect her more than you know.
If you truly care about your friend, then you’re going to want to remain her friend because eventually, she’s going to need you again.
As for the person who the one ditching everyone for your new relationship…here’s a piece of advice for you to chew on:
Both you and your significant other will need to have space and time apart. If you try to take that away from your partner, or you force yourself to take that away from your own lifestyle, then you’re going to find yourself being overly dependent. This will ultimately jeopardize your relationship altogether.
Given these facts, are you even really ready for love? Take this quiz to find out!
How to fix this situation
Keep your girl-time, God-time, and family time sacred. If you ditch any of this then who are you going to run to when there’s a problem in lover’s lane?
Even worse, who are you going to turn to when you have a woman problem that only other women would understand and could support you through it?
If you decide to push everyone away, then you are gonna be left with nobody.
Even for married couples. Keep all of your relationships (family, friends, and God) in balance with your spouse. You’ll need each of them in order to feel loved, supported, and truly comfortable in your own skin and life.