I remember the season like it was yesterday. It was 2010, I was 25 years old, sitting in front of my mirror applying my makeup, and was getting ready for another night out. Only, I was on a secret mission. Deep down, I was hoping to meet the One.
I was desperately searching for the a guy who would not only help me get over my Ex, but could be the answer to my happiness. Someone who could handle all of me: my independence, my Latina sass, and my feminine strength. And if I was a good “catch” and enjoyed the nightlife, then surely I could find a good guy was into that life also.
Each night, I would pray to meet a gorgeous guy and he would become the solution to my happiness; the one whom I would grow old with and life happily ever after.
And I would become the reason that he says, “I do”.
But he never came.
Surely, there must be ONE GUY out there who’s not a complete sex-hungry, selfish, jerk! Where are all the REAL MEN hiding? What’s wrong with me?! Why do I only attract the jerks?
I felt scared, desperate, and rejected.
- I traded in my family time in order to make time for my social life (and find my next boyfriend).
- I spent every penny I made on booze, events, clubs, and parties hoping to meet someone.
- I was about to give up my dream of finding true love and getting married.
- I was ready to settle with a no-good guy just so that I “wouldn’t end up alone”.
Nothing was going right in my single life and I blamed it all on my past relationships. I was totally committed to proving to the world that I was worthy of love but I subconsciously kept myself from it.
Let’s flash forward a few years. I’m now happily married to my best friend. Seriously, it sounds so cliché to even write that, but it’s so true! I got married to my husband in 2013, and we are expecting our first child this summer!
You might be scratching your head wondering how the heck did that happen…
- I did not sell my soul to the Devil…
- I did not choose to settle for someone who was “good enough”, and
- I did not change the person I was in order to attract a particular guy
So here’s how it all went down…
In 2011, I finally decided that I was done with the dating scene. I was getting nothing out of it, I was wasting all of my time and money and continued to get hurt by guys I would allow into my life (and heart) when I KNEW they weren’t good for me.
I decided to reconnect to God and focus on my faith and myself rather than to put all of my efforts on loving a man.
This changed everything!
I first met my husband in church (which is VERY rare these days!) and my initial thought when I saw him was,
He’s cute! He probably has kids, a baby momma, and is trying to get his life together! There is no way that he could ever be good for me.
Of course, God reminded me that I was NOT in church to search for a man, but to search for Him. So, I began to focus on getting connected with other women my age and improving my relationship with God. Because of this, I literally did not see or run into my husband again for another 4 months!
- I was able to forgive a LOT of people who hurt me in the past
- I improved all of my existing relationships with friends and family
- I started taking better care of myself by working out and eating healthier
- I finally felt comfortable in my own skin and being single
We met again when I decided to join several church ministries in the spring. I was in a good place in my relationship with God and I felt amazing about the woman I was becoming!
Over time, my husband and I developed a friendship while serving the Lord together. Turns out he did not have kids, and he was simply trying to get his life together as well. What were the odds of that? But deep inside, I continued to judge him and place him in the “friend zone”.
This guy could never be the guy for me. He listens to country music and is just so opposite of what I’m attracted to. It would never work out! Best we just stay friends.
Later that summer, I suddenly dawned on me that my friend could no longer be “just a friend”. I had developed feelings for him. I was freaking out about this because it was totally NOT the plan to fall for him.
What scared me the most was that I would hurt him because of my past. I felt like I wasn’t worthy enough to date such a nice guy and that he would never want to get involved with me if he really knew me.
On top of this, all of my previous relationships failed! How in the world could I make this one last if I was a crazy girlfriend all my life?! I felt defeated before he even knew that I had a crush on him.
Once we decided to take our friendship to the next level, we both agreed on a couple things:
- We would stay pure to honor God and continue to develop our friendship
- We decided to study everything we could about love, relationships, and marriage so that we knew how to do it the right way (through devotionals, classes, trainings, retreats, seminars, books, and much more!)
After a year of dating and a year of engagement, we decided to get married.
By the time I got married,
- I felt completely amazing about who I was and what I stood for in life
- My husband knew every bit of my past, my present, and what I wanted for my future.
- I was so on fire for God and I knew what my purpose and life-calling was (it led to this business that you see today!)
- My past no longer haunted me and I felt at peace to finally move forward
This is my love story. But you don’t have to just hear it from me. Read the love stories of others I’ve helped here.
And if you’re reading this and can relate to my past struggles, heartaches, and frustrations, then you need to prepare yourself for real love! I’m talking about allowing real love to transform you completely from the inside out!
I know because I’ve dated jerks, a**holes, and losers, and actually lived with a broken heart. But I also dated some great guys and ruined my relationships because I wasn’t ready to love and didn’t know how.
If you want to crush your insecurities and accept a loving man into your life, you gotta do the work. But you don’t have to do it alone.
It’s time to get confident and clear about what you want and who you are. And if you’re sure that you’re ready to love again, then it’s time you prepare for it!
And I’m here to put you on the right path. As your Coach, I’m going to help you smash insecurities, ignite inner love and go back into the dating scene with confidence, knowing that your next relationship with someone is going to be your last relationship with “the One”.
Selina Almodovar, Relationship Expert
I believe that when we receive God’s love, we not only experience His perfect love, but we are able to love ourselves unconditionally. When we inject self-love, we attract more wealth, better health and we’re (finally) able to receive love from others. I know this to be true because I dated the jerks and destroyed good guys. I once gave up on love because of the false impression of what love is supposed to look and feel like. I turned my messy life into a Cinderella story that has empowered hundreds of women to love God and themselves first and have attracted more love than they could ever dream of as a result.
So… are you ready to ditch the excuses, drop-kick the fear and finally attract the unconditional love you deserve?